Friday, May 9, 2008
{ 7:43 AM }
i miss this smile..i miss this happiness..4 dis year i had nvr had dis smile yet..the smile with sincere with full of happiness and stress free..im free of everything..well im hoping to have dat smile soon..i like being happy but day by day im growing..i became less happy..ya u all might have go out with me n c pictures of me being happy..but deep deep inside im in pain..its hard having a step dad..yes he ones a good life 4 me n dont 1 me to regret but dis is not the way..had a very major problem with fam..a really major 1..n it really puts me on tears..yes i had nvr drop a tears 4 a long tyme but dis tyme is to much i guess but how bad is my dad or how irritating he is his still my step dad n his the one dat help me in my problems n last tyme n his the one dat save me from going in..thnx dad..aslongs mums happy with u, im happy..i have enough of dissapointing u MUM..i keep away from smoking,drinking or cases or trouble but still things became worse..all im asking is give me tyme..n its hard 4 me to achieve my dreamz n my goal if they keep me dis way..hmm..since after my parents came down to schl n have a talk with my teacher..it bacame bad..or should i say worse..every thing gone wrong dis year..haiz..all i can say is i really stress out..just too get times right..to get model 4 my shoot(sch project),exams,dance,work,3 video shoot(schl project),friends,family..how can i fit all dis..haiz..well parents been ctrling my tyme n its getting more stress..i wish i could rewind back again in sec schl life..n try kept my self away from problems..i regret doing stuffz last tyme dat dont bring anything in life..get into trouble n its a hell of a nightmare..i regret all dat..haiz..well dis is my punishment i guess...i have to accept it..i guess as i grow up god is testing me n yah i have to accept everything dat happen n always keep on praying..i hope the pain will cure soon..haiz..as 4 my dreamz n goals,should i go on???or give up???well all i can say is ill c..till here then..i think im gonna leave my blog date 4 a moment..maybe..well ppl all i can say is TINK BE4 U DO STUFZZ..N DONT EVER DISSAPOINT UR PARENTS ESPEACIALLY UR MUM..ALTHOUGH HOW MUCH SHE HATES U(but a mum wont hate her own child),U R STILL HER FLASH N BLOOD,DATS Y..N ALWAYS REMEMBER,SHE IS THE ONE DAT SUFFERS FOR 9 MONTHS CARRYING U AROUND..KEEP AWAY FROM TROUBLE N I BET "insya'allah THINGS WILL GO SMOOTHLY..y im saying all dis coz i dont one ppl out there to be in the same situation like me..till here im off
